Poor Man's Parmesan and Camouflaged Cheese.

 

I love the Italian style of cooking known as 'La Cucina Povera' and there are lots of such recipes on this blog, most often from Southern Italy where the poor were a lot poorer than their poor Northern cousins. And poor man's Parmesan gives a fantastic crunchy texture to pasta dishes.

But to me simple food made with little but made well is a joy to eat.

So last week I did the fridge invention test, opening it I noticed immediately that it was mostly white inside, a mistake dear reader - I'll explain. On closer inspection I noted it also had a light inside that shone making the plastic ever whiter and it also that illuminated a bit of broccoli that waved a green floret at me and a bit of squashed pork sausage. I have never known why sausages are packed in fives, we'd had two each the night before and there was one in the pack that was squished. But if you think about the maths dear reader five sausages just doesn't work - is it three for the bloke and two for the Mrs? Or the other way round. Two for the parents and one for the child? What if the family has two children, one and a quarter each.. I suppose it works for families with three kids but I think resentment and social services may become involved. Maybe sausage packing is something to do with counting on yer mitts..

Anyway great I thought, sausage and broccoli pasta, a favourite, and I'll make poor mans Parmesan too which I have never made but seen in Sicilian cook books.

Method:

So to make some toast, maybe do it twice so it's really browned, then blitz. Heat some olive oil and brown a few garlic cloves on both sides then discard, add your toast crumbs to the frying pan and on a low heat gently move them around, they will dry out as they absorb the oil, add salt generously, and serve as you would Parmesan.

Camouflaged cheese

So when I told my partner what I had made and that there was no cheese she said but there was Parmesan in the fridge, in a white plastic container. I ask you in a glaring white fridge how is a man going to see a white plastic container? You see what she doesn't understand is that to a man an Italian cheese is sort of triangular shape and if you can't see a triangular thing then it's obviously not there. The same is the case in the cupboard gaze in it for Campbell's soup 'cos it looks like, well Campbell's soup, Heinz soup looks like, well Heinz soup. Soup from Morribobs can look like anything at all. Green petrol stations are BP and yellow and orange ones are Shell, men do not have any idea what colours the other petrol stations are. Brands know this and keep their marketing and products the same.

You see when men look for something and it doesn't look like what it should look like then it's not there.

You can use the above argument with your spouse and be proved right every time.*

See also Montalbano, 'Who the hell is disturbing me'. Broccoli pasta

and 

Sausage and Broccoli

*Best wishes with that.