Scottish Winter Vegetable Soup and Cheesy Biscuits

 

Yer average haggis herder spends most of his day righting fallen haggis, his role is vital. Haggis (notoriously unstable and unable to get back up) that have rolled to the bottom of the hill need to be replaced on the slopes the correct way round, so they can continue their natural gait, never going up and never going down but simply on a rotational circuit around and around their hill.

However over the years poor breeding standards has meant that nowadays as many as fifty percent of haggis have short legs on the left side, not the right side as their forebears once were. Worse still industry experts warn - at some point the breed will develop equal length legs and then it would become impossible to keep them just circling the axis of fells, mountains and Monros. 'Yer would nae be able to keep the wee beasties in their natural habitat, they will become pets, and ye cannae scran yer dug right enough', Nicola warns the Holyrood Assembly. 'Aye, possibly' she added, 'becoming a fashion item paraded up and down Princess Street by posh pretentious Edinburgh prats'.

And then the haggis herder would be a thing of the past. And this is what worries him and that's why he needs comfort food and after a cold day on the fell feed him warming Winter Soup and hot cheesy biscuits.

There is nothing difficult about this soup but it has a lovely flavour, soften some chopped onions and leeks in butter then add very small diced carrots and swede, stir around a bit, add small cubes of potato, season, add some herbs, chicken stock and a handful of long grain rice, bring to a boil and simmer until all cooked through, about half an hour.

Cheddar biscuits, 8oz self raising flour, a bit of baking soda, salt, pepper, mix. Put in food processor, add 4oz butter as cold as possible (freeze for a bit if poss), whizz until it looks like breadcrumbs. Put it in a mixing bowl and slowly add milk and mix until it just and so comes together, make into a ball. Roll out cover with grated cheese, fold over, roll out again add cheese, fold over, roll out add cheese. Cut out biscuits should be about a 1cm thick, place biscuits on a sheet of baking paper on a baking tray. Use up any left over pastry into another biscuit, sprinkle a bit more cheese on top and then bake at 180 for about 25 mins.

Feed this to your haggis herder, look him in the eye and say, 'I luv yer ya bampott, yer my Chieftain o' the pudding race'.