Faggots aka Savoury Ducks, how to make them and what they do to you

 

Lamenting that I haven't seen faggots in a butchers for donkeys. I thought I'd have a go at making them and oddly enough found a 'Slimming World' recipe, which appears incongruous since they contain pork belly and bacon, both fatty, tho liver and stuffing can't have much.

Anyway I found out later why they are endorsed by fat club - they are to your bowels what a high pressure jet is to a  blocked drain, seriously a 6 oz faggot causes 3 lb of weight loss. You have to admire food that fights back. Following several flushes I was amazed to see a large bolly remaining behind, Wow, I thought as I remembered I'd swallowed that metal marble as a dare in the early seventies. Oh and such a relief, realising I should be able to go through airport security sans strip search from now on. 

If you shout 'Faggot' at a Peaky Blinder he won't hit you he'd say ' Oh yes please', you see Faggots are the Midland's, yes the 'Black Country's' fave, consumed by Brummies (whose accent always seems o me to be more of a winge) and held to be one of the fist takeaways, served with peas (pronounced 'pays') If you pinch your nose and try saying peas and you'll be spot on, and with a bit of practice you can impersonate, Jasper Carrott, Ozzy or even Noddy Holder). In Lancashire they are known as 'Savoury Ducks', either way, they are historical poverty fare using animal parts that are often unwanted. The belly pork and the liver cost just over £3.

True faggots also have pigs lungs and heart in the recipe and are wrapped in caul, but my local butcher had none of these, so I bought half a pound of lambs liver, the same of belly pork, some smoked back bacon and a pack of sage and onion stuffing.

I thought my version tasted great and true to the flavour I remember, the girlfriend, who hadn't had them before didn't like them - but she doesn't like any form of meatballs, so I reckon if you are feeding them to the uninitiated you'll maybe only make them once. Oh and don't let them see you making them, it's not pretty.

So mince the bacon (remove rinds) and the pork belly and liver, make the stuffing as per instructions, mix everything together really well, season, grate in some nutmeg. Then form into quite large balls. The above quantity made seven faggots. Put a few in a metal baking tin, add a little water to cover the bottom, bake at 180 for nearly an hour, add a little water as it cooks. At the same time make some lovely onion gravy in a pan, when the faggots are done remove and finish the gravy off in the tin. Serve with some mash and peas and carrots.

Assemble your victims and tell them you've made Savoury Ducks, smile and dig in. saying how offally good they are.